Tragedy & Simplicity
by Evelyn Sanders
Summary: A young girl spends most of her life behind closed doors. One day she is trust into the world by a catastrophic event. Her life is now turning in a direction she never would have dreamed of
1. Chapter 1

**Tragedy & Simplicity**

_ A thousand is a statistic, one is a tragedy. A number is simple, a face is hard. Impulse is forgotten, lingering burns into your mind._

A few months ago a world in the Pegasus galaxy was attacked by the wraith. 10,100 people lived on this world. 10,000 were counted dead, 98 were unaccounted for. A sad statistic, but it was not thought much about, until an Atlantian team stumbled upon the beaten and ravaged world. John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagian, Rodney McKay and Ronan Dex had the unfortunate task of finding the two survivors. The team dragged themselves around the ruins, stunned into silence as they stepped over decaying bodies, dried and withered bodies and torn and burning buildings. If there was a hell, this is what it looked like. None could find any words to speak right now. A soft whimpering could be heard from somewhere within the debris. Ronan was the first to hear it. They all stopped and listened carefully.

"Over here!" Ronan called, his gruff voice carried quickly to his team as they leapt over the rocks and dug into the ground before revealing a young girl, no older than eight. Ronan gently pulled the girl up, but she was almost lifeless. Soft moans escaped her heaving chest, her eyes rolled around in her head and her body was limp. Teyla pressed her fingers against the girl's neck.

"Her pulse is very faint." Teyla's eyes got sad as she realized this girl would not survive another hour. The child sputtered blood everywhere. Her chest heaved one last time and she was still. 10,001 were now counted dead. Ronan gently set the frail body down and roared with anger.

"Who did this!" He snarled through his teeth looking around the devastated world. Rodney stared on with disbelief and Teyla hung her head and closed her eyes. John crossed his arms over his p-90 and sighed.

"The wraith would be my best guess." He said taking in the fed on bodies. Ronan roared again and smashed a rock as hard as he could, only injuring his hand, making the man angrier.

"Are…are they all dead? I mean no one left?" Rodney finally spoke, his voice high pitched. Teyla glanced around the ruins.

"I'm not sure, I believe we should still look around, maybe there are a few left." She said, hoping for the best. John nodded.

"Teyla's right, we will comb the area, then report back to Atlantis." He said and began moving across the rubble. Everyone spread out and followed his lead.

It had been 4 hours and John was about to call it as he approached the tree line. He lifted his radio but out of the corner of his eye he spotted movement. Putting the communicator down then lifted his weapon and began stalking his way through the forest. He saw it again and spun around. Was it a stray wraith? His eyes narrowed as he tried to spot the darting figure. Finally he spotted a pattern with the movements. Stepping into the figures line he reached out and grabbed its arm and pulled him down. Pointing his weapon he looked at the creature on the ground. Turning its head up towards him John gasped and lowered his weapon. On the ground was a woman, about the age of 19. Her eyes were a mixture of icy blue and the deep ocean. Her skin was tan, about the same color as Teyla's. Her hair was a deep rich red brown that fell smoothly along her shoulders. A few strands were out of place hanging it her face. Now her face, it looked like a perfectly chiseled statue. High cheek bones, prominent jaw line, cat like eyes, thin lips and well defined features. Her body was just as smooth and defined, though she was covered in cuts and bruises. Her clothes were stained with blood and were torn.

"I'm sorry…are you…" John didn't get to finish went he noticed a certain familiar mark on her chest. A wraith feeding hand. She had survived that? She followed his eyes and covered her chest with her arms and scooted back against a tree. She stared up at him with a blank expression. He noticed how nervous she was and crouched down with her.

"Sorry, are you ok? Are there more survivors?" He asked her. All he got was a shake of her head. To which question? Taking in her injuries, probably both. He clicked his radio

_"Teyla, Rodney, Ronan, I've got a survivor over here. About three clicks east of the city." _He said then looked back at the girl who looked more confused now. "My name is John Sheppard. What's your name?" He asked trying to relax her. He sat on the ground a few feet away from her. Her blue eyes scrutinized him for a moment.

"Sh…" She was cut of short by the sound of the others approaching. She curled into a tight ball and stared at them as they appeared one by one. She stared them down.

"Oh!" Rodney said surprised about…what she looked like. Ronan looked her over and crossed his arms keeping his distance. Teyla tried to approach but she only moved away.

"She is pretty shaken up guys." John said as he looked back at the girl. Their eyes met for a moment and he got lost in them. Already he was wrapped around her finger. "What was your name?" He asked again. She swallowed hard and never took her eyes off him.

"Shay." She said. Her voice was smooth as velvet; it rang softly with the melodic sound of a song bird. Teyla and Ronan recognized the name.

"It means Dagger, or Poison." Teyla said, pondering how she came across such a name. It was in a rare dialect, she didn't even know what language it was. The girl only nodded as she tapped her chest where the feeding mark was. John began to put the pieces together. She was a poison to the wraith that is why she was alive. Everyone's eyes got wide at the same time.

"Shay, will you come with us? We will take care of you." John said holding out a kind hand for her. The frightened girl reached up and took his hand. Standing with a fluid movement she moved quickly to John's side and gripped his hand. She was so unsure of everything, so terrified, like she had never done anything in her life. She never left Johns side as they reached the gate and it sprang to life. She flinched back and buried her head behind him. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she was ten. It took awhile but they finally coaxed her through the gate. This all started again when she arrived in Atlantis. Sheppard could not leave her side until Doctor Keller finally sedated the girl.

"The poor girl." Said Keller, stroking the hair away from the sleeping girls face. "I have never seen anyone so terrified of everything." She said turning back to an exhausted Sheppard. He leaned against the wall and nodded his eyes never leaving the delicate Shay.

"I have a feeling she has lived a very difficult life." John said, taking in the older wounds and scars. He felt sick to think this girl had been abused. Keller nodded, knowing what he was referring to. She moved over to a scanner.

"You will be the first to know when she wakes up John, go get some rest." Jennifer said, looking over her shoulder and giving him a comforting smile. He nodded, stretched and walked out of the room. He got to his quarters and stripped off his heavy gear and fell onto his bed. Starring at his ceiling his mind wandered over the day's events. It wasn't long before he was asleep; his dreams filled with the constant fear in Shays eyes. He tossed and turned in his sleep until he was awakened by his radio buzz.

"_Sheppard, Sheppard? She's awake…and I think you need to get down here right away." _He grabbed the radio and acknowledged it and took off to the infirmary.

As he slid into the infirmary, he saw her curled into a tight ball on her bed, Keller was standing off to the side, and two guards had their weapons trained on her.

"Lower your weapons!" Ordered John as he pushed the guards back. "What's going on Jennifer?" John demanded as he moved up to Shays bed.

"It was just a precaution colonel." Keller said softly placing her hand on his shoulder. "Relax." She said. "Shay woke up early while I was sewing up one of her cuts. As you can imagine she panicked and began to scream. The guards came in just to make sure everything was ok. I called you in to comfort her." She said explaining everything. Shay was shaking her eyes wide. She looked at john.

"I'm…sorry, I want to leave now." Shay said softly, almost begging. Sheppard brushed her hair back and looked into her eyes.

"It's alright; you don't have to be scared ok. You trust me don't you?" He asked, she nodded her head. "Ok, well I trust these people with my life, so that means you can to." She looked around at all the people in the room and took a deep breath. She nodded again. Just then Rodney walked into the room.

"What's with all the commotion?" He asked looking around. John leaned in and whispered in Shays ear.

"Except him." He winked at her and turned back to Rodney. "Just a misunderstanding McKay." He said. The slightest smile broke out in the corner of her lips. Rodney looked around, everyone seemed to be chuckling.

"What?" He asked. People shook their heads and went back to what they were doing. John sat on her bed next to her as Keller began to patch her up again. The two talked the whole time, Shay hardly noticed Keller working on her. John asked questions and occasionally got a full sentence out of her. He learned a lot about her, and she about him. After Keller finished, that's when John witnessed her first smile. Her soft pink lips turned up slightly with a shy smile as she looked down and allowed a soft giggle escape her lips. He was now officially hooked on the girl. Her smile was his world, and he would do anything to see that again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Love is the condition which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. It starts with a hug, grows with a kiss, and ends in a tear.**

**It took months of work and patience, but Shay and been pulled from her shell, and bloomed into the most beautiful, elegantly designed and interesting flower anyone could have expected. She liked to play jokes, have fun, ponder, and she was intensely clever and outgoing suddenly. She had so much to offer to Atlantis, but still, she remained mysterious. John stood in an empty hall. His arms were crossed over his chest with a terribly confused look on his face. He had come to pick Shay up for lunch, but she wasn't there. This was highly unusual for her. Just then he felt gentle arms wrap around his waist. Her sweet scent surrounded him and he felt her cool breath on his ear.**

"**Were you looking for me?" She cooed into his ear. He closed his eyes taking in her ever welcome presence. He smiled and turned to stare into her eyes. He wanted so badly to kiss the creature he was so crazy about. Yet every time he would try, she would turn around, or skip away from him. So now, he just stared into her eyes, then turned around and wrapped his own arms around her waist.**

"**Maybe…" He murmured back. He hugged her tightly and stroked her hair softly. "You hungry?" He asked her, though not really wanting to move from this position. She grinned into his neck.**

"**Starving." She said and pulled away from him, taking his hand she led him down the hall. He sighed and followed her to the lunch room.**

**The two had a strange relationship. If it had been up to John, it would have gone a lot further then it was, but she was so careful. It became a more caring love relationship, then a romantic one, though he longed for it so much. At night she would come into his room and curl up with him in his bed. The first time she did this he was startled and confused, but when she simply fell asleep in his arms he sighed and dreamt about her. Eventually he had figured this would be the way it was for them forever, until one night when she slipped into his room. Usually she would head straight to his bed and curl up, but this time she just stood there.**

"**Shay…?" He asked softly as he stared at her silhouette in the moon light. Her eyes glowed softly in the light, her body outlined beautifully. When she didn't respond John tossed the covers off and walked up to her. She stepped up to him, her face almost touching his. Her delicate soft fingers traced up his arms and wrapped around his neck. He just stared into her eyes until he could no longer resist himself. Tilting his head slightly he pressed his lips to hers. When she did not pull away he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up and closer to him. Her fingers traced into his hair as she matched his lips. Her skin was so soft, her tasted so sweet. His heart began to beat faster as she tried to pull in quick breaths between kisses. Picking her up, he walked back towards the bed and set her down gently. Looking down at her he moved up next to her. In one passionate night, the two became one. Quick breaths and fast heartbeats seemed to move in sync. John had gotten what he wanted, and now he only loved little Shay even more.**

**When she woke up the next morning, John was just getting out of the shower. She pulled the covers up and over her and peered out, biting her lip trying to suppress a smile. He turned and looked at her. He did not hide the grin that crossed his face.**

"**Good morning." He said as he walked over to his sink and stared into the mirror. She looked down then murmured a good morning back. She was slightly embarrassed and you could see that, but a certain bubbly joy was also terribly apparent. She glanced at the clock.**

"**Oh!" she gasped and jumped out of the bed leaving the covers behind. He turned around and his breath caught. He had only seen her in the dark. Her skin was smooth and even toned. Her curves flowed perfectly, her body shaped like a Greek god statue. She pulled on a pair of pants and a black tank top. Atlantian clothing she had been given to wear. She turned and looked at him and ran up beside him. Kissing him on the cheek she turned to leave.**

"**I'm sorry! I'm late" She managed out before she was out the door and down the hall way. As soon as the door was closed he heaved a sigh. Running his hand threw his hair he shook his head.**

"**God John…" He said to his reflection in the mirror. "What the hell are you going to do now?" He said, though he was not upset at all. In fact he had never felt quite so good in his life. In a few minutes he was dressed and headed out his door to meet Sam for a briefing. **

** "…Ok, so you'll head out in 0800 hours." Sam said finishing her brief of John and his team. They were headed out to meet Todd, a wraith they had been dealing with, to discuss finishing the gene therapy. As he stepped out of the room he ran into Shay. She was going to step back out of his way but instead he grabbed her and pulled her into him. Staring down into her eyes he smiled slyly.**

** "Now what do you think you're doing?" He asked, turning his head to the side slightly. She grinned and kissed him softly on the lips.**

** "Running away from you, silly." She said and turned and trotted off down the hall and vanished with a quick glance over her shoulder. Rodney had just come out of the room and witnessed this little thing.**

** "What the? What was that?" He asked walking up to john. John looked at him and shrugged.**

** "What was what?" He asked then walked away down the hall. Ronan and Teyla came out next.**

** "Did you know?" Rodney asked them totally shocked. Ronan stared at him and shook his head walking away. Teyla smiled sweetly.**

** "You did not Dr. McKay?" She asked and walked away, leaving Rodney there by himself. Even Sam chuckled and vanished into her office. Rodney was left alone, once again out of the loop.**

** Shay and John's relationship continued to grow, their love for each other completely apparent to everyone on Atlantis. One day though, when John woke up and Shay had left, a terrifying though entered his mind. What if she got pregnant? He shot up out of bed and ran a hand threw his hair. My god, what would that do? He shook his head and got out of bed. His mind was spinning; he didn't even know what to think if that happened. Walking out of his room he ran into Teyla.**

** "Oh John, Shay is looking for you, she is in the infirmary." Teyla said and continued on her way to the sparring room. Considering John's pervious thoughts, he expected the worse. His heart stopped and his breath caught. Why was she there? He walked quickly and turned in to see her sitting on the bed, feet dangling talking to Keller. He coughed.**

** "Um, you wanted to see me?" He asked walking up to them. Keller nodded and walked away; Shay smiled and looked at him.**

** "Guess what!" She said happily, a glow in her eyes. John start**ed feeling dizzy, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

**"Er…What?" He said weakly. She tilted her head and looked concerned.**

** "What's wrong? Are you ill?" She asked hoping off the bed and running her hand along his face. He shook his head, took a deep breath and smiled at her.**

** "No, nothing's wrong, what did you want to tell me?" He asked. The smile returned to her face as she bounced slightly.**

** "Guess!" She said wanting to play that game. He thought he was going to throw up. He just shook his head. She frowned "Fine. Keller cleared me, so now I can start working with the Atlantis teams!" She cried excitedly. John let out a huge breath and stumbled forward. He started laughing and shaking his head, leaning on the table. Shay look confused as she moved up to him. "What's so funny?" He laughed again and looked at her. He kissed her and held her face.**

** "Nothing, nothing at all, that's great news!" He said brushing back her hair. She smiled and nodded her head kissing him back.**

** Shay had been cleared just in time. She could now help with the gene therapy, and she had valuable knowledge, and was quite the smart girl. Some might even go so far as to say she was better than both Sam and Rodney. Today was the day Todd would be coming to Atlantis to work with them on the project, and hopefully finish it.**

** "Are you sure you will be alright?" Sam asked Shay as she sat across from her desk. Shay nodded and smiled reassuringly.**

** "Of course Sam, I do not fear the wraith. It is they who fear me. They cannot feed on me, and from what I have heard, I highly doubt this Todd will try to kill me." Shay said, proving to Sam she would be fine working with the wraith on this project. Sam nodded.**

** "Alright, you can stay on the team." Shay nodded her thanks and exited the small office. She was glad that Sam trusted her, and even more excited to finally finish this project that had taken up so much of her time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**There are two tragedies in life: One is not to get your heart's desire, the other is to get it. Those who sow with tears, reap joy in the end.**

__**John stood in front of the gate, his arm wrapped around Shays waist. His team stood on both sides of him and Sam stood in the front, her hands clasped behind her back. Four armed guards stood off to the side waiting for their guest of honor. Stepping through the open gate, Todd appeared. His dreadlock white hair hung freely along his blue green transparent skin. Yellow cat like eyes took in the scene as he stopped just before Sam. He was almost a whole foot taller than the human. He wore heavy black boots and dark leather cloak. A low rumble came from his chest.**

** "I thought we were past armed chaperones." Todd's low raspy voice came in as he shot a sideways glance their way. Sam stepped forward.**

** "I'm sorry, but we can't be too careful, I'm sure you will understand." Sam said. All she got in return was a grunt. She rubbed her hands together awkwardly. "Well, welcome to atlan…" she was cut off short.**

** "I would like to get started immediately." He said bluntly looking around the open space. Sam sighed and nodded.**

** "Of course you would…well this is your team." She said introducing Dr. Keller, Rodney, and Zelenka. Lastly she introduced Shay. At the sound of her name the wraiths eyes lit up as he lifted an eyebrow looking her way. He murmured something and John pulled her closer keeping an eye on Todd.**

** "Now, may I get to work?" Todd said eyeing Sam. She grunted and motioned for them to go. Shay turned to John and kissed him on the cheek and ran to catch up with her team. John was reluctant to let her go; worried about the look Todd had given her.**

** They had been working for hours. Todd had said few works, and Rodney was getting frustrated. Keller had just left to get some coffee with Zelenka. Shay was nodding off and Rodney was about to yell at someone.**

** "You're doing it wrong!" He finally exploded at Todd, who only growled slightly, causing McKay to back off.**

** "I assure you Dr. McKay; I know quite well what I'm doing." Todd hissed slightly. Shay glanced at the two and walked over.**

** "Rodney, maybe you should go get some coffee to." She said softly. Rodney looked at her then nodded.**

** "Yes, yes I think that's a good idea." He stomped off out of the room and Shay turned back to her work. She was typing at her computer when she heard what she thought was a wraith laughing. She stopped her work and turned to stare at him. **

** "What are you laughing about?" She said, her exhaustion apparent in her voice and drooping eyes. Todd turned his head slightly in acknowledgement but said nothing. A few minutes later she heard her team returning, but just before they entered the lab the doors slammed shut and the lights turned off. **

** "What the hell?" She heard Rodney exclaim, then heard Radek ramble off in his language. Next she heard a low moan from Todd. Oh great, stuck in a dark room with a moody wraith. Next she heard John.**

** "What the hell just happened? Where's Shay!" She could almost feel the panic in his voice. **

** "She is in the lab…" Came Keller's voice trying to calm him.**

** "With Todd?" Roared John, "I swear Todd, if you even touch her I will kill you! Do you hear me?" John pounded on the door. Todd Chuckled softly.**

** "I wouldn't even dream of touching her John Sheppard." His voice came smooth, yet unreassuring. Shay shook her head.**

** "I'll be fine John, don't worry." She cooed softly through the door. Her voice calmed him down. "Find out what's going on and get the door open John, I'll be ok." John agreed and walked away. She turned around and stared blindly into the dark. "Great, stuck in a room, blind…with a wraith! Not on my list of top ten things I want to do before I die." She grumbled as she tried to feel her way around. Todd made a sound the reminded her of purring.**

** "Are you planning on dying anytime soon?" His voice cooed from some corner. She groaned.**

** "Hell no! It's a figure of speech." She grumbled. All she got in return was another chuckle from deep within him. There was a long moment of silence and she was just beginning to fall asleep when the wraiths voice broke the still air.**

** "What is human love like?" Todd asked his voice purely curious. She rolled her eyes and ignored the question for awhile. But it burned into her mind, and she began to ponder it herself.**

** "It's like a burning…but a good one. You feel dizzy, and sick, you feel giddy and childish, and you don't want it to end." She said, trying to describe the feeling she got every time John held her. "When the other leaves, all you can think about is them." She finished as she heard a soft grunt. Did wraith feel love? Had he ever experienced it? He seemed different from most wraiths, so maybe he had. "Do wraith love?" She asked him, turning her head to where she thought he was.**

** "Not the way humans do." He said his voice right behind her. She jumped and ran into the table.**

** "Ouch!" She yelped and rubbed her back. Her eyes flashed back and forth, trying to figure out where the wraith was. A grumble came from to her left. It sounded like a concern. Her eyebrows furrowed, this wraith sure liked to laugh at her. She froze as she felt his hands rest gently on each side of her face and turned it slightly.**

** "I am over here." He murmured. His hands fell from her face and she let out the breath she was holding. "I have never experienced the emotion you call love, but for wraith, it's not quite so…wonderful, as you describe." He continued to her previous question. "It is more of a prison for us. When we find someone that is important to us, which is very rare, it's like we are locked to them. A burning as you described, is the same for us, but not a good one at all. It hurts." He trailed off and she heard the soft swish as he walked away from her.**

** "Sounds like you have felt it." She whispered softly, looking around for him, but she was sure he had vanished into some corner.**

** "Perhaps…" His low ghost like voice came from somewhere in the room. His answer confused her, but she did not push for any more information.**

** Hours had past and John would come to give updates on how things were going. The halls had opened, but the city was still under some sort of lock down. She managed to get a little sleep and was feeling better when she woke up again, though it was still pitch black. She stood up and began to feel her way around the room. She ran into tables and chairs and knocked a few things down until she ran into a soft wall. It was then she realized she had just run right into Todd. Embarrassed she backed up blindly and fell over a table. Things clattered about as she groaned, Todd chuckled and crouched beside her. She could fell his presence close to her.**

** "You humans are rather useless in the dark." He observed, she gave him a shove and tried to roll over and pick herself up but his cool hand grabbed her upper arm and with ease lifted her from the ground and set her on her feet. "Tell me Little Dagger" He said, accentuating her name "Have you lived fully? Or is the only love you know your dearest John?" His question upset her. One, the way he said her name made her shiver, and second he seemed to know her past. **

** "Why would I tell you?" She hissed at him, and tried her best to walk away, but he seemed to keep pace by her side. A low purr rumbled in his throat as he stopped in front of her.**

** "Hmm, I suppose you wouldn't Anashay." He growled softly. That name, why did he call her that?**

** "What do you call me Anashay?" she demanded. A grin broke out on his face; his teeth reflected the little light in the room.**

** "You don't know? My dear, your name is wraith." He said simply. Her breath caught. Wraith? How could that be? She didn't know wraith even had a language. She figured it made sense, she was a poison to the wraith, and it meant poison in their language.**

** "Why did you add Ana to it?" She asked staring at where the glint of teeth had been, only to be startled by his voice right against her ear.**

** "It means little." He murmured, his breath cool against her skin. Goose bumps covered her whole body. He creeped her out, yet at the same time, he gave her a feeling she couldn't describe. She didn't say anything but took a step away from him and turned around, hoping she was facing him. She felt him move up close to her, only a few inches away. She took a deep breath.**

** "You have felt love, haven't you…?" She whispered, Todd simply growled softly, it was oddly comforting. Before she could do anything his hand slid to the back of her head and his lips pressed against hers. Her first thought was of John, but it quickly faded as she felt herself get caught up in the strange pleasure that came with Todd. He was almost a whole foot taller than her so she stood on her tip toes trying to reach his face easier. Her hands traced up and rested on his broad shoulders. He pulled his lips from hers and let his hand fall from her head. They stood there for a moment. She was trying to catch her breath from the experience, and Todd was growling softly in her ear. Did she really just do what she thought? She ran a hand threw her hair and sighed heavily. She felt Todd's strong arm wrap around her lower back and lift her with ease. Turning around he set her down on the table. Her feet dangled off the table, but at least now she was taller and it wasn't as awkward when he kissed her again. Her hands clasped around his neck, his hands were on the sides on her face. Suddenly, it was cut off short with a voice from the other side of the door.**

** "Shay? Carter has it fixed, the doors and lights should be turning on soon." John's voice burned into her as she gasped and jumped off the table. What was she doing! Just then the lights turned on and the doors unlocked and John came in and hugged her tightly. She heard a very unhappy growl from Todd, but no one else seemed to here. "Good to see your ok." John said brushing her hair away. She smiled**

** "Did you think I wouldn't?" She asked, John just eyed Todd carefully. She kissed him softly to distract him from the wraith. But Shay could only think of Todd. The feeling he gave her was unlike anything else. Yet she loved John. Now she was torn, it was easier to love John, he was everything for her, he never left her side, and he loved her totally. Todd was a wraith who fed on her kind. She was a poison to his kind, they were sworn opposites, and yet the kiss, she wanted to feel that again. Pulling from John she turned and sighed, hiding her face from him, her eyes met Todd's. His eyes seemed softer as he looked upon her. She growled angrily to herself and leaned against the nearest table.**

** "What's wrong?" John asked stepping up to her. She brushed him off and smiled the best she could.**

** "Nothing, I'm just really tired." She said and stroked Johns face reassuringly, but for once he did not fall for it. A deep sadness filled his eyes but he smiled back.**

** "Alright, maybe you should get some rest." The military man in him came out to cover his emotional state. She felt awful for doing that to him. It killed her, that wonderful burning within her had just turned on her. It began eating away at her insides, and it hurt so badly. Todd walked past her; the coolness of his presences filled her and seemed to mask the burning. She felt sick at what she was doing. The guards followed Todd out and she moved out after them. Todd turned to look at her just as she turned down the hall to her room; she avoided eye contact with him.**


	4. Chapter 4

**To make a decision that will change your life is hard. If it's not, you are making the wrong decision. Love is not a battle field, it's a war. You must lose some battles to win the war.**

_**She had been kicking herself all day. She hardly fit in anymore, and it seemed all her friends had vanished. She was getting pity hellos and smiles, and John avoided her. Todd was still here working on the gene therapy, but Shay now took the shifts that didn't involve him. Sam finally approached her.**_

_** "Is something wrong Shay?" She asked her eyes full of concern. She had taken notice of what was going on, but she didn't like sticking her nose where it didn't belong. Shay gave the best smile she could.**_

_** "Why would you think something was wrong?" She asked, though her smile was not convincing. Sam eyed her carefully.**_

_** "It just seems something has happened between you and…" She didn't get to finish before Shay waved her off.**_

_** "Nothing is wrong, really, you don't have to worry." Shay dismissed and began to walk away.**_

_** "Shay…did something happen in the lab?" Sam asked referring to when the city went under lock down. Shay froze and stood in silence for a minute. For a split second she thought about telling Sam, but only looked over her shoulder, gave a half smile and walked away. Carter looked on but only shook her head and walked away. At night Shay would dream of Todd, but only for it to turn into a nightmare with John shooting him, then turning his gun on her. She would wake up out of breath and drenched. Sometimes when she would lie awake, she could feel the wraith attempting to reach into her mind. By the end of the week her decision had been made. She had not slept at all that night and when she left her room in was spotless. Her stuff neatly packed in a corner. She approached Carter as she was talking to the science team and Todd. Avoiding eye contact with the wraith she moved boldly up to Sam and looked her right in the eye.**_

_** "Colonel Carter. I would like to leave as soon as possible." Shay stated bluntly. Taken back, Carter looked around at everyone. They all seemed just as shocked, and Todd uttered an almost inaudible growl.**_

_** "Ah…um Shay, are you sure you don't want to talk about this…" Sam said, still trying to get a grasp on what had just happened.**_

_** "No, I do not. I have my stuff packed and I'm ready to leave as soon as you grant it." Shay said quickly. Jennifer stepped forward.**_

_** "Shay, you can't be serious…" She said sadly. Shay shrugged her off, not wanting to turn this into a tear fest. She was close to crying anyway, the last thing she needed was to look into Keller's hurt eyes. Rodney attempted to speak but just stuttered until he was shoved to be quite.**_

_** "Alright…um I'm sending Todd off today so..." Once again Carter couldn't finish**_

_** "I will go then as well." Shay stated. Everyone was shocked all over again.**_

_** "Don't you want time to say goodbye…"Carter was hurt now as well. Shay turned away from the group who had been her friends.**_

_** "Colonel, I want to leave right away." The argument was over. Sam nodded and the group dispersed, except Todd. When Shay went to walk away the wraith gently laid a hand on her shoulder.**_

_** "This is not wise little one." He murmured softly. His guards prodded him to leave and Shay shoved him off. Her eyes full of tears as she stepped up to his face.**_

_** "Don't you dare patronize me!" She hissed in pain and turned walking quickly away.**_

_** She stood next to the open gate next to Todd, a small pack on her shoulder. Todd stood their proud as ever, his head high as he stared into the flickering water like surface of the gate waiting for his release. Just as Shay was about to step towards the gate John came running in at full speed.**_

_** "Shay!" He cried as he stopped a few feet from her. He tried to catch his breath, but he was holding back his mix of emotions. "Where are you going…?" He whispered softly. She couldn't help it now as she turned and stared into those eyes. A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly. She took a deep breath and shook herself.**_

_** "Its time I left John."She said in the military tone she had learned from him. He just started at her.**_

_** "Please…" He begged stepping closer to her. She pushed him back and shook her head.**_

_** "Goodbye." She turned and walked through the gate without another glance. She came out on a grassy planet and fell to her knees as tears streamed down her face. She had never made such a hard decision in her life. Just when she thought the gate was about to close she heard someone else step through. Her first thought was John, and she got angry. Why couldn't he just let her suffer in peace? She whirled around and ran into Todd. She growled and tried pushing him away but he simply held her by the arms close to him. After her tantrum was over, she took a deep breath and sighed into him.**_

_** "Why are you here?" She mumbled blandly. She could feel the laugh rumble within his chest and it made her feel safe for some reason.**_

_** "This was my address Dagger." He stated and chuckled again. She stared up at him as a wave of embarrassment washed over her. She had walked through without thinking to get away from John. Oh god what did Atlantis think of her now! "Don't worry, I explained how you probably were overcome by your emotions and did not realize." He reassured her. She grumbled and let her head fall.**_

_** "So what I'm stuck on a wraith invested planet." She asked stepping away from him. He growled at her comment and frowned.**_

_** "No, I would not let Atlantis know the location of my hive. This is an abandoned culling world. No one lives here now." He said starring at her. She wiped her face of remaining tears and walked up to the dialing device and was about to put in an address when his hand stopped her. "Don't leave me again." He whispered in her ear. She shuttered and closed her eyes. She knew how his love felt now. A burning that consumed him in pain. He was like a prisoner chained to his guard. And when she left, it was like a life source being ripped from your veins and you slowly, painfully wither away. But did she want to be with a wraith? And could he even be with her? Todd was the commander of a huge alliance, and could not risk being seen with a human. Would he really give that all up for some human who would die in a few short years? She stared into his eyes.**_

_** "Todd, it wouldn't work…" She said sadly. He shared her feelings and he nodded, but his hand still didn't move from hers. They stood there a moment before Shay could no longer stand still. She turned into him and leaned on the DHD and stared at Todd. His eyes bore deep into her and she couldn't look away. Then that wonderful feeling washed over her. Todd's lips had locked to hers once more and she was consumed in his powerful arms. Her tiny hands rested just below his shoulders as he moved his head and let his lips trace down her neck and rest on her collar bone. He purred from deep within him and she closed her eyes, getting lost in his touch. His head turned and rested on her shoulder. A constant comforting growl rumbled from him as his arms still held her tight.**_

_** "We could make it work Kakesh." He murmured to her. Then, she did not know what that meant, but later she found out it translated into My Love, or more accurately She Who Holds Me Bound. She buried her face into his shoulder.**_

_** "I'd like to try." She whispered to him. The rest of the day was spent talking, planning, and Todd holding her close. By the end of the day she never wanted to leave his side, and unfortunately, their plan required her to be away from him a lot, and a very hard acting game. She would have to pretend to be a human worshipper. He crouched by the fire he had made once the sun had set and she curled up next to it to fall asleep in the warmth. Just as she was about to drift off she felt is arms wrap around her and lift her like a small child. She looked up to him as he held her tight and sat against a tree. She fell asleep to his low purring and the relaxing vibrations the came from his soft sounds.**_

_** She woke the next day lying on the ground by herself. Sitting up she looked around for Todd. Where had he gone? She stood and checked around the camp, but there was no sign of him. She slid to the ground by the tree and pulled her knees close to her. Had it all been a dream? Was he even there? She sighed and rested her head on her arm. Just then she heard a rustle in the trees as the wraith emerged. He looked different. Then it hit her, he had just fed. Her face went pale as she looked away from him, swallowing the sick feeling. She loved him, but he was still wraith. She closed her eyes tight then looked back towards him. The stern wraith look covered his face as he walked past her and covered up where the fire had been burning.**_

_** "We must leave now Anashay." He said, his back still turned to her. She bit her lip and ran a hand through her air, and nodded and turned her back to him as well. Anashay? She assumed she would probably have to get use to that name. If she was to be a worshipper she couldn't have a powerful name like Dagger, Little Dagger worked better.**_

_** "Well let's go then." She said plainly and looked over her shoulder as he stood and stared at her. She quickly turned back towards the woods. She felt him approach and stand behind her.**_

_** "What are you doing?" He asked curiously. She didn't answer right away. To be truthful, she was trying to be more like him. She didn't want him to think she was a clingy human who was very emotional. Clearing her face of any emotion she turned back to him**_

_** "Nothing, let's go." She said as she turned and began trekking back towards the gate. She had almost made it to the tree line when he grabbed her and spun her around. He pressed his lips to her forehead. Confused at what he was doing she looked up at him. He laughed softly.**_

_** "If I wanted a wraith to love little one, I would have found one." He said then walked off towards the gate. Her face got red as she growled. She felt stupid. Shaking her head she jogged to catch up with him. He moved quickly, a new gracefulness to his stride, probably because he had just fed. She was hypnotized by the way he floated across the gently blowing grass. **_

_**When they arrived at his hive everything changed. He stood tall, his shoulders back, his head high, and a constant snarl on his face. She had to tag along behind, hunched over, darting nervous eyes. Occasionally he would turn and growl at her yanking her forward. The wraith they past would shot glances at Todd and growl slightly, only to be put in their place by the overwhelming sense of power that radiated off him. He dropped her off with a wraith that was in charge of their worshippers, and then Todd vanished without a second glance her way. She felt betrayed, hurt, and cold, though she knew it was just an act. Bowing in front of her new leader he walked around her, eyeing her up and down. He growled here and there and pushed her around.**_

"_**What does your master call you?" He hissed at her stopping his circle behind her. She shivered slightly and thought over a name to give him.**_

"_**Anashay." She said softly. Before she knew what was happening she was sprawling across the room after having his boot shoved into her back.**_

"_**You will address me as sir little dagger!" He hissed viscously. She nodded her head many times.**_

"_**Sorry sir." She whispered and stayed on the ground. He walked up to her and lifted her head towards him.**_

"_**You must have made quite the impression on our fair leader to gain such a name, human." He muttered and shoved her head down. This went on for quite some time until she was dismissed to her cell until called for her duties. She sat in the cold dark room and nursed her cuts and bruises when the door opened. She flinched until she realized it was Todd. The door shut and she ran into his arms. He stroked her hair and half purred, half growled. Taking in her injuries he snarled slightly.**_

"_**That fool, does he not know you are mine!" He growled and ran his fingers over each injury. She buried her head in his chest.**_

"_**Can we please not talk about him?" She asked softly. He calmed down and ran his hand over her face. Kissing her lips softly he stared into her eyes.**_

"_**I cannot stay long, but I shall come to see you again Kakesh." He whispered in her ear the turned around. The regal look returning as he strut out running into the worshipper leader, whom got quite the beating for running Todd's prize, and then Todd was gone. Ivel, her new leader, came in growling as he glared at her.**_

"_**What makes you so special little girl?" He hissed mocking her. She dropped her head and backed away from him, but he grabbed her arm and yanked her out. "Where are you going? You have jobs to do." He growled as he shoved her down the hall. Shay threw up twice by the end of the day. She had to clean up remains of those the wraith had fed on. She had to feed the humans to be used later, and she had to listen to terrible comments thrown her way. She collapsed in her cell and closed her eyes, trying to get the images out of her mind. She wasn't sure she could do this much longer, and she missed Todd's comforting sounds. She fell asleep on the hard surface with constant nightmares.**_

_**The next day she woke up to a human male in her room. She shot up and eyed him carefully. He smiled at her and extended a hand. She cautiously took it as he helped her up.**_

"_**My name is Shel." He said to her. She knew that name, it meant Useful Dog. She looked pitifully at him but he just shrugged. "It's a good name around here. What do they call you?" He asked. She didn't want to tell him, she felt bad.**_

"_**Anashay." She said just about as softly as she could. His eyes got big as he ran a hand through his hair. He mumbled something about, lucky girl and must be something about her. He led her out of her cell.**_

"_**Well Anashay, I'm here to take you on a tour of the hive." He said excitedly. She just shuddered and kept her head down. Many wraiths snarled at them and shoved them around. As they got to the throne room, just then the door opened and Todd stepped out. Shel hit the ground and tugged her to follow, whispering not to dare look at the leader in the eyes. Of course Shay did, and for a moment she was that loving look in his eyes, before in flashed away and he snarled at her shoving her as gently as he could into the wall and she fell to the ground.**_

"_**Keep out of my way humans!" He snarled and flicking his cloak behind him and floated away. She rubbed her head as Shel helped her up.**_

"_**You're lucky he didn't kill you!" He exclaimed totally amazed she was still alive. Still rubbing her head she looked at him.**_

"_**He is my master." Shel could not contain his disbelief. The rest of the tour was him asking questions about how that came to be, and how that explains her name. She was dying of boredom by the end. After the tour, she had to do her normal duties, and then get to rest for only a few hours. This had become Shays life.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**The way of a warrior is a resolute acceptance of death. Once you have come to terms with this, death flees your presence. I speak not of immortality, but more of recklessly careful mortality. **

_**Five years does a lot to a person, but even more happened to Little Dagger. In five years her position had greatly changed. She was now closer to wraith, then human worshippers. The wraith would challenge her, but now, the lower ranking ones at least, she would challenge right back. She was a fighter, and a warrior. She was sent with the culling groups to round humans up, and she was better than most of the wraith. She was quite, sly, and deadly. Humans trusted her until the very last moment. Her name had changed. She was now called Crelshay, meaning Crafted Dagger, though Todd of course still calls her Anashay.**_

_**She strut down the hall, her dark red hair flowing out behind her with her quick pace. She now wore wraith leathers. A black leather jacket that was zipped up about 5 inches from the top, the sleeves ended just past her shoulders. She wore tight leather pants that sat right on her hips, about 3 inches of space between her pants and jacket showed her flat lean stomach off. Her legs were long and well shaped. Her boots were of course black leather as well with a heel. She had a black band tied around her wrist with her name written in wraith on it. From a 19 year old girl till now, she had really matured out. With her wraith attitude and making her way into their ranks, even higher ranks would take a double look at her, which only caused a grouchy Todd. He snarled a lot more at any wraith who looked a little too long at her. But, once they were alone, she would calm him by running her hand along his cheek and kissing him softly.**_

"_**Good day my love." She murmured softly in the wraiths ear. He flinched slightly, started by her. She had improved greatly on sneaking up on him. He turned around and immediately kissed her passionately. He held his lips to hers for quite some time before forcing himself to let her breath.**_

"_**It has been so long." He growled as he ran his hands along the curves of her body. She let her head tilt back slightly and closed her eyes and sighed at his touch leaning into him.**_

"_**Far too long, I have been away, culling." She said, not really interested in talking about it, but Todd was.**_

"_**I have heard you have brought in a great many, with very few casualties." He said stroking her face. She chuckled softly and pushed Todd back into his throne chair. She walked up to him and placed her hands on his knees. She grinned slyly at him.**_

"_**Well, I do whatever I can to make you happy." She whispered as seductively as she could. Climbing into the chair with him she pressed her body against his and kissed the top of his head. "I have waited far too long for this." She mumbled half to herself half to Todd. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the exposed skin from the opening in her jacket. She sighed at his touch and traced her fingers down his neck. He growled happily as she began to take apart the different sections of his uniform. His exposed chest was surprisingly human, smooth cool skin, almost as hard as rock. She traced her fingers along the grooves formed by his muscles. His own hands got a hold of her zipper and pulled it all the way down. His hands ran up her stomach and chest, reaching her neck, he held them there before moving back down. The feeling she got when she kissed him was nothing compared to this. It was like she was on a drug. She groaned softly as she fell into an almost dream like state. His body moved rhythmically with hers. She kept her arms around his neck as the wraith tried to keep his growling quite. **_

_**Eventually he turned and ran his lips along hers, they both trying to catch their breath. She slipped off the chair and stood in front of him, still no clothes on. She smiled and turned around to gather her things up. Her hips swayed beautiful, her curves so perfectly accentuating the lean muscle that made her who she was. She pulled her pants on the slipped her jacket on and zipped it up. Turning around Todd already had fully dressed. She stepped up to him as he lifted her slightly and kissed her. He purred into her ear then set her down.**_

"_**Do not leave." He growled, almost ordering her. She smiled into him and shook her head.**_

"_**I must, Ivel will be looking for me." She muttered unhappily. Todd growled. He hated Ivel, Ivel got to spend more time with his little dagger then he did, and he suspected Ivel of growing feelings for his new mate. Shay could tell what Todd was thinking and turned his head to look at her. She gave a quick kiss "Don't worry." She whispered then turned and walked out the door. Todd fell back into his chair and let out a deep sigh.**_

_**Arriving back at the human's area, Ivel flashed a toothy snarl her way. He stalked towards her as she leaned to one leg and crossed her arms. Rolling those baby blue eyes she looked terribly bored, which only made Ivel angrier.**_

"_**Where have you bed Crelshay!" He growled standing inches from her face. She stared diffidently at him.**_

"_**With our leader." She spat back. Ivel growled and looked over her. He took in her scent and stepped back, shocked. Did this mean she was queen of the hive? No, she was human, but what did this make her? Then he sneered at her.**_

"_**Commanders play thing." He scoffed at her; she narrowed her eyes, but let it slide. To the ship, that is what she was, not his lover, a plaything. Ivel though, despite mocking her was rather upset. If the leader had mated with this female, no matter how important she was to him, this made her off limits. He snarled as he looked the girl up and down. Still, just maybe he could get away with it…but not now.**_

"_**A hunting party is leaving soon, get to the dart bay." He hissed at her and shoved her out of his way as he stalked down the hall. The remaining humans stared at her, the men, upset and shocked, the women jealous. Their high leader, their commander and chosen a human for his company. She looked at them, and knew what they were all thinking; she rolled her eyes and snapped at them to get back to work. So much for this not getting out all over the ship. **_

_**When she arrived on the planet, the people were already in a panic. She growled and stalked over to find the commander of their group.**_

"_**What the hell do you think you're doing?" She hissed at him. He sneered at her and looked back towards the burning town.**_

"_**Doing it my way." He said smoothly. She snarled and shook her head. Wraiths were so pathetic. He shot a glance her way as she assessed the town. They had not culled anyone, just striking fear right now. She spotted something hidden in the trees as a sinking feeling hit her. An Atlantian team was here. She looked at the commander who had an evil grin. He knew. How he knew, she wasn't sure, but he was playing her now. She narrowed her eyes.**_

"_**Fine, if you're doing it your way, do it by yourself." She started to walk away when he grabbed her arm. He grinned again.**_

"_**I don't think so crafted dagger." He said, mocking her name. She narrowed her eyes and pulled her arm free. "You are going in there, and will bring out every human." He demanded. She glared at him. Glancing back at the situation her mind raced. First, she needed to find out which SGA team it was, second, she needed to get them to leave, and lastly she needed to do this fast enough where she could gather the planets inhabitants. She growled and ripped her daggers from her side and pressed it against the wraiths throat. He stared at her, fear building in his eyes.**_

"_**Don't you ever set me up like this again, or ill carve my name in your neck!" She spat in his face and removed the dagger and vanished into the forest, circling the town. She slipped into one of the buildings that was abandoned and gathered some torn and worn clothing. Stripping quickly she dressed like a poor farmer and set off to find the SGA team. She shook herself off and got a very convincing panicked expression as she approached SGA 6. They immediately recognized her. **_

"_**Shay…" Johnson said surprised walking up to her. She ran to them and glanced nervously around.**_

"_**You have to leave!" She said quickly. Pushing them towards the jumper.**_

"_**Shay, we can help, is this where you are living?" They asked, confused to find her here. She shook her head quickly.**_

"_**It doesn't matter Johnson, you have to leave right now! The wraiths know you are here, and they threatened to destroy the town from space if you don't leave!" She said franticly. Johnson was about to protest. "Please, I can't lose another people!" This hit Johnson, he couldn't be the reason she was left homeless again. He nodded.**_

"_**Alright, are you sure you will be ok?" He asked headed back to the jumper. She nodded quickly and waved them away. The jumped pulled off and vanished into the sky. Shay sighed in relief as she quickly changed once again. She zipped up her jacket only half way and tossed the silky red wine hair behind her. It fell along the dark leather and stood out beautifully. She strut into the center of town and confident grin on her face as she stood there her hands resting gently on her hips.**_

"_**Come out; come out where ever you are." She called to the burning village, a nasty smile painted on the angelic face.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_Education without values, as useful as it is, seems only to make man a more clever devil. People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to._

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" The harsh voice startled him. Whirling around, he came face to face with the most feared person on the ship. Shrinking back he stuttered unable to get any words out. Her eyes narrowed, the electric blue was on fire as she stared him down. "Don't make me ask again." She asked more softly, an almost kind tone as she stepped towards him. He dared to look into those famous eyes and immediately felt himself pulled in.

"I was…was just…erm looking around" He managed still staring into those eyes. He swallowed heavily. Their eye contact was broken when the back of her hand came down hard on his cheek. He stumbled back and whimpered. She stepped up and grabbed his chin turning it to look at her as she grinned.

"Just looking around? Its innocent intentions like that, that will get you killed." She whispered in his ear softly. He shuttered. A sharp crack echoed in the silent hall as his body fell limp to the ground. She looked disgusted at the body and killed it over so his face was hidden. She brushed her hands off and walked away. She had changed dramatically. Living and loving a wraith do that to you. She was learning their ways and quickly becoming just as ruthless as they. The only problem, the more she understood them, the more she destroyed their lives.

"Crel…" He didn't finish his words when she turned and snarled at him.

"What Ivel." She growled in his face, holding eye contact and standing tall and proud. He growled softly. He had to admit, each day she was acting more and more like a queen. They did not have one, but she seemed to be quickly filling that position. He would have none of this. Grabbing her upper arms he shoved her against the wall and pulled his face close to hers.

"You are not my queen human." He snarled in her ear. She grinned cruelly and turned her soft lips to his ear.

"You want me to…" She hummed softly. She knew how Ivel felt about her and his distaste when she had mated with his commander. She also knew, if given the right chance that wouldn't stop him. "So…what are you waiting for?" She murmured. He paused, taken back by her words; he wanted her more than anything right now. He ran his sharp nails along the delicate skin of her neck, thin red lines formed, and the liquid trickled down her neck. She cringed slightly, but it wasn't painful.

"I want you Shay." He growled tilting his head and pressing his lips to the red liquid. The metallic salty taste filled his mouth as she let out a shuttering sigh. Todd was much more gentle then Ivel. His strong hands clasped around her waist and his nails dug into her skin. She struggled to breathe when his lips locked to her. He bit her lower lip and she could taste the blood. He pushed her hard against the wall and tore her jacket off leaving her chest exposed. But before he could go any further she felt him stop suddenly. A pained expression crossed his face as he fell to the ground. A shot fired in the middle of his back. She looked up from the dead body to Todd's snarling face. She tilted her head and smiled slightly.

"My hero." She whispered as she walked up to him. Her feet crossed elegantly, making her hips sway. He slipped his hands softly around her bare waist and kissed her cut neck. He ran his tongue along the scratches, lapping up the blood and then he moved to her bleeding lip. He nipped at it slightly as she let her head fall back and her eyes close. She felt his cool hands slide along her breasts. Her nipples were hard from the cool air.

"You are mine little one." He growled protectively. Then turning away sooner then she wanted he lifted the torn black jacket and raised an eyebrow. "It would seem it is time for a new uniform." He hummed happily. He had been wanting to update her wardrobe.

Her new look was extravagant and flattering. Her pants were now a softer red and loser, more comfortable, but it showed her legs off still. These sat a bit lower on her hips and came down to her small ankles. Her top was a half shirt, ending a few inches above her belly button. It zipped up as well, and she usually didn't do it all the way up. But when she did, it came up to a tight collar around her long elegant neck. The sleeves stopped at her elbows and she now had small matching gloves with the fingers cut off. Her boots were high heeled and was more brown in color. With this new style she did her hair differently. It was longer now and fell almost to her mid back. She would pull it into a lose high pony tail, pieces falling out with a messy yet kick ass look. She had a black tattoo now on her neck of wraith design. It set her apart, this meant, despite being human, she was a very high rank.

Walking down the hall she was looking for Todd. It was her day off and she wanted to have some fun. Her good mood was cut short when a wraith stopped her from going down a hall. She scowled and was about to argue with him.

"You are not allowed down this hall by order of our commander." He said simply and stood guard with two drones. She crossed her arms and stared at him.

"Now why would he do that?" She growled. Todd never restricted her from anything, certainly not a hall that most humans and the science lab were kept. The wraith shrugged.

"I would not know Terashay." He said blandly. Terashay was her final name. Meaning poisoned dagger, or more literally the Deadly Weapon of the Gods. She angrily turned on her heel and stalked back. Luckily she knew another way around. Slipping into the hall she zipped up her jacket and snuck around the edge of the walls. Escaping being seen and finally coming to a guarded room, which only meant Todd had to be in there. She slipped in the darkness and pressed her ear against the wall. She heard Todd's familiar voice.

"How can I be sure this will not kill us?" He asked. She heard him pace a bit then stop. She heard shuffling, then a female human voice.

"I assure you, we would not do that. We have run many tests; we just need a live one now." It had been so long, but she thought she recognized the voice. The next voice made her heart stop.

"Todd, come on pal, you know we have a deal, and its time you came through…for once." The voice was masculine and deep. Smooth and charming with rough tones. It sent tingles down her spine. John Sheppard was here. Her muscles ached to run in and greet them but she knew, dressed like this, on the hive, she could not. She sighed deeply and slid along the wall until she was sitting on the ground. Shay heard some movement and the door opened. Todd stepped out and the door closed behind him. He caught the scent of Shay and spun around. His eyes widened.

"What are you doing here Ana…" She stopped him before he could finish.

"Were you just never going to tell me they were here Todd? Hide it from me?" She said hurt. She crossed her arms and turned away from him. He stepped up behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder and slipped his arms gently around her waist and purred.

"You cannot meet them, not any more Kakesh." He said sadly, feeling her hurt. She let her head drop as she heaved a sigh.

"I miss them." She whispered as he stroked her hair. A low sad humming rumbled from his chest and it vibrated into her body.

"I long to give you everything you want, but I'm afraid this is something I must watch you suffer through." He said pulling away from her slightly. He tried turning her to face him but she shoved him off. She spun around and glared at him. She began backing away shaking her head.

"Of course, you will just have to watch me suffer huh? I don't think so." She snarled and stalked off down the hall away. He grumbled and turned to one of the guards.

"Keep an eye on her." He ordered then walked back into the room with Sheppard. She walked into her quarters and began changing. She didn't have much clothing outside tradition wraith leathers but she managed to find and old dress she used to fit into an old medieval town. It was long and tan. It tied tight in the waist with a stiff red fabric and had a low cut neck line. The sleeves were short and ruffled slightly. She smoothed it out and walked back into the hall. She slipped into the room and quickly closed it. Her wraith shadow spotted this and quickly ran to find Todd. John spotted her and gasped.

"Shay!" He yelled and ran to hug her. She hugged him back and smiled running her hand trough his hair.

"It's good to see you, but you must keep your voices down." She whispered and greeted each member of the team, and Keller, the female voice she wasn't sure of. "It's good to see you all, but I don't have long." She said looking back at the door.

"What are you doing here?" John asked, completely confused. She smiled and laughed running a hand through her hair.

"Todd hunted me down to help him work on a project of him, he promised if I would help him, he would make sure no wraith ever touched my planet." She said pulling a chair up and sitting down. "So I'm here for a short will counseling him on his latest science experiment." She finished, threading an elaborate lie. John looked at her carefully. Something told him this wasn't true, but he smiled and pushed it out of his mind.

"It is good to see you Shay, I missed you…" He trailed off, is throat caught as he thought to the day she left. He thought maybe Todd and done something to her, but apparently he let her go to where ever she was going, and she found a nice new home.

"I've missed you to John…" She whispered. The team noticed this and decided to walk into the other room and give them some privacy. John quickly moved to her and pulled her into him and kissed her. His lips pressed warm and sweet against hers. His touch was hot, something she was not use t being with wraith. It heated her body up as she slipped her hands around his neck and her fingers into his hair and kissed him back. His head tilted as his tongue slipped into her mouth. The stood there for a long while before he finally, reluctantly, pulled away. She gasped for breath and stared into those dark, dangerous green eyes of his and fell in love once again. She pulled out of his grasp and turned away. Facing that same dilemma again. John knew that look. He reached out for her.

"Please Shay, don't leave me again. Tell what I did and I will change." He begged, wondering what it was that made her feel ashamed every time she kissed him. She shook her head.

"John, don't go there again. Leave the past to rest. I've moved on, you need to as well." She said looking back at him with sad eyes. She stroked his cheek and kissed it softly then slipped out of the room, leaving him hurt again. When she slipped out of the room she ran into Todd. She was eye level with his chest and raised her eyes. He growled softly.

"Twisting lies are we?" He growled holding her arms firmly, but gently. She tried pulling away but he refused to let up.

"It's better than the truth" She spat pulling against him again. He cocked an eyebrow and loosened slightly.

"Are you ashamed of your decision?" He asked, she could almost feel the hurt in his voice. She stared right into his eyes and smirked slightly. She chuckled and stopped her struggle.

"How could I ever regret choosing you?" She asked him. He couldn't quite tell if she was serious or being sarcastic. She had begun to be very good at her lies, and twisting stories to be just perfect. He released her.

"You have crueler intentions then any wraith could ever Terashay." He said plainly and stepped away from her. She smiled innocently and cocked her head.

"My teacher has been very good." She took her dress in her hands and did a curtsy and smiled sweetly then turned to walk down the hall.


End file.
